Been a while since I have stopped in, just made this post over on contractortalk and thought of you guys here too. Sure there is many here who can relate.... I have done a LOT of learning this past few years...., many humbling experiences.... still a little confused though..... I have spent the majority of my life trying to 'take over the world'...measuring my own success by my position in life...business/career and what I can do for/give to/provide for the people I love..trying to be the best I can be. But recently...things/my views have changed...kinda...still struggling through the transition. I am finally starting to realize a new level of success in these slow times that has been staring me in the face all these years but I could not/did not have the time to see....HOME, the people that love me, being there for/with them...realizing the most important thing I can give them is me. I do not have my head in the clouds though...as much as I would love to live on love it does not pay the bills...so what am I going to do now? I spent 15 years in my career that took me everywhere but home and then the past 2 as Owner/Operator trying to stay at home (my dream)...but it's just not working, the work is not here... So now what? Back on the road? A career change? Change to what? I spent 17 years becoming one of the best in my line of work. ....I started young though so therefore lucky for me I am still young hitting this point in my life (33) A lot of people are believing in me/depending on me and if I fail...well I just can't..... I am lacking in sleep...really bad, a lot weighing on my mind...on the line. I'm sure I'm talking to much but I'm also sure I'm not alone in this struggle within. ....to be continued if there is enough interest, I'm done putting myself out there for now...feel free to add to the story... I am going to go and TRY to sleep now. Looking over at Tina resting peacefully, gotta go snuggle her For those that know me (been on CT a while now even though I don't post often) Things have really changed since my last post http://www.contractortalk.com/f11/yo...x2/#post676467
Hi Brian, I'm about your age and I´m at a point where I´ve been financially set back to square 2. I can relate to the feelings of stress you describe. Life is a rat race. But in truth, you´re only racing against yourself. Ambition is good, but when the economy changes, so do the rules of the game. Don´t let it get to you when you´re not making as much as what you set out to. Do what you have to do to make ends meet. But if it´s making you miserable, find an alternative.
This read may help you think this thru. S U C C E S S A Simple Life Well Lived http://www.lifeprinciples.net/SuccessatLife.html
Ponder these http://ops.tamu.edu/x075bb/humor/trueisms.txt
all you can do is all you can do. live for happy, not money.
I was 18 and met a beautiful girl inside and out. Delayed marriage for 8 years then she said bye-bye. Told her wait till I'm in the union, wait till I get my journeryman's book, wait till I am foremen, wait till I get my business going selfish me. Then it was I'll show her where I am going. It didn't matter because thoroughly I killed off her feelings for me. Spent near 20 years finding the right one again. I started in business when I was 23 and I got no help starting. Got sick of it in 1999 and mothballed the business for 1.5 years. Left the equipment in the yard and ran another company with 350 emplyees. Bust my butt but it was OK and I had a profit sharing deal and they did 15-20 million per year. Guy's son yelled at me one day over his stupidity. I handed him the radio and opened up my yard again. My own dog and pony show again. Easy, no but in my control. Now I give a price if they like it fine if they don't to bad. I am considering it more of a hobby now. Two ways to go of business are as follows. Work for nothing and end up under a ton of stress, owing money, working hard to pull it out and still going ubder. Second way is to not get any work but you close the door and owe nobody. You also didn't have to get up at 4:00 to work. Been up been down from 80 union employees and back to zero due to corruption. Never swapped my beliefs or values for money which I could have easily. I can still hold my head high and paid every penny to the men whom worked for me. Money from screwing the workers would not be success to me. Life is short 365 x 70 = 25,550 days and your not taking anything with you when you leave but you will leave a reputation behind in business, with friends, and family. I try to treat others as I want to be treated. Fortunate to have endulged my parents in a few nice things before the died. Money is not everything you need to strike a balance between pleasure and work. You never know when the merry go round will stop. The most important thing is to have a partner to share your life with good and bad times. Said to mine I think I am working day and night Tell her I'm going to bed at 8 pm and up at 4 am some times. Work, bid, fix this & fix that.:beatsme If you are stressed you are young and can always try it again when things are better. Some times things are just out of your control in business and it's not your fault or failure. :Banghead:bash You are motivated so if you are in your own business or working for someone you will succeed. Your personal relationships are the most important and the ones that really care for you will not measure you by your business or lack of one. Now I need to re-read what I wrote and pay attention myself. Now I just gave myself some therapy by putting it all in writing. The snuggle with the right person is the most important thing you have. It took me a long time to realize that unfortunately. Now I'll go read you other post. Relax, I have a friend going for a mechanical heart in the next week or two. This I can't get out of my head and it makes any problem I have seem so small. You have your health you have it all. Healthy you can always mount another attack at life in any area. Dam lucky no one here knows me. edit the link didnt work
you think?
That's a good post Speedpup. Hey Brian, many if not all of us have faced similar circumstances in our lives. I would dare say we all have a story to tell. When I was your age, I traveled the U.S. for nine years like you have. Stress, anxiety, pressure, circumstances beyond our control or those of our own making; all will put a drain on ones energy. But one thing I learned a long time ago is that the world we live in is not even aware of our insignificant travails. The Clinch River below Norris Dam is not far from me, I've stood on the banks of it's cold running water many times, and that river could care less what's going on in my life, it just flows. I could step into its cold water, it doesn't care, it just flows around me. I could try to push the water back upstream, alas, I would lose, I would be the one exhausted. I could curse the river because it's in my way, it doesn't even hear me, it just flows. I can't move it, can't stop it, or can't make it go away. I have no power over the river, much like the forces that we struggle with in our lives. So if I have no control of the river, what's the point, what's the use, what should I do? Hmm, walk it's banks, study it, learn it's movements and eddy's. Then, cast a line into it, and lo, the river has produced me a Trout. Ahh, I work with the river and allow it to feed me. Our lives are no different. We just have to use our God given skills and intelligence to work the river of life to sustain ourselves and our families. No need to stress over it. My personal advice to everyone is to manage your stress. Oh yeah, I have concerns and at times anxiety as everyone does, but I've learned not to stress over what I can't control. Instead, I try to focus my energy into finding a way to "work with the river". And remember; everyday you wake up breathing oxygen is a good day.
SpeedPup very well said, with these slow times I too feel a lot of pressure like Brain was describing for my family and my employees and their families. It definitely takes a lot of internal fortitude to keep calm and try and keep your family and others reassured. Hope things get better for everyone soon.
You know something? I really like that. Well said!
The most important thing is the two smiles in the picture keep them and everything will work out.
Some really great posts, thanks guys Through these tough times I have not got depressed and I keep smiling. I have not lost site of the fact that no matter how bad it gets I still have a really great life. I'm just not exactly sure what my next move is going to be yet and it is weighing on my mind heavy. I always have the option to go back to work in camp...but I spent 15 years living that life and I just don't want it anymore. I have a sence of home like I have never really had before and I don't want to leave it. I could say I am only going to go until I catch up on everything but it never works out that way. That's how I ended up divorced with three kids I barely know. Never planned to live my life in camp the very first time I went there. Now I have a wonderful woman that loves me and a great step daughter, I don't want to make that mistake again. So I have to figure out how I can make my living right here at home...don't have to be rich, just want to pay my bills. There has been fleeting moments were I have felt like a failure because I have not made this business a great success yet. But then I put it into perspective for myself and I am anything but a failure. I started with less than nothing. I had a mountain of debt from my first marriage and everything I owned fit in a suitcase. I managed to pay off my debt, get that machine, bring it here to Nanaimo and make a go of it for this long in a place were I was a complete unknown. I was brand new here, didn't know anyone. Machine was new to most everyone too, next to no one ever heard of it and most were quite skeptical. They are not skeptical anymore, I have built up a good reputation for both myself and the machine here. But if there is no work to do it makes no difference how I try to make it work it is not going to and I did not fail because of it. The link at the bottom of my first post was to one of my posts in a similar thread over on contractortalk. It worked when I first posted it....anyways the title of the thread was "Your Personal Relationship. Who Or What Are You Really Married To?" I will just copy and past it here rather than try re post the link. I posted this a little while back Those are some happy smiles eh speedpup. I am one lucky fellow
The way I look at it, the measure of success is how happy you are with your own life. I consider myself very successful, as well as happy. I'm a superintendent of a well established construction company. ( sometimes I feel like I work to much to call my life mine) Ive yet to marry, but Ive yet to find someone who believes in what I do. I refuse to sacrifice what I love, for the love of someone else. I love to travel and see different places, and meet new people. I love a good challenge. Like the old saying goes, I rather you hate me for what I am, then have you love me for something I am not. I consider myself very successful. A Lot of folks think I'm nuts, but I'm happy! Jason
Atco and JTL, well said. Its hard to find your own happiness. And cannot love anyone untill you love yourself. Specially if the ppl around you are not happy. You're always trying to fix their problems and looze site of whats going on inside. I guess what has keep me going this last little bit is just do a little bit at a time and don't try to do it all at once. I believe we r having these slow times for a reason: and that is we have all been busy with working and other things and skipping out on whats really important. The family,friends and the ppl around you that you care for. Its times like these you sit back and relize what you have instead of what you don't. Its easy to think back when times where good, what you did, where did all my money go, and who you spent time with or neglected. It makes you rethink whats important. All I know is you can't do this all on your own. Everyone needs someone else. This world would suck if you was here alone. God bless and I hope all is going well for everyone!! Justin:angel