from my experience here, and other posts on other forums i've read.....i assume many of you near my age. "i'm 72" the "soon to be gone, but not forgotten bracket"......when you tip over, how you handling that? #1. i don't believe in funerals/visitations. when i'm gone, toast my ass and dispose of the body. #2. if there's going to be a after death get together.....i don't want people there in suits, all quiet and somber....i want them half in the bag....going up to my grandsons, putting their arms around their shoulders and saying...."you wouldn't believe what that crazy son of a bitch did back in 82". i coffee quite frequently with 2 retired, very wealthy funeral directors. they don't like my plan of attack on my death. i want to be picked up, toasted....disposed of. i've been in the undergound biz working for my dad, or on my own since 68....been in/walked underground all my life. scatter my ashes, don't bury them. i don't want to be in the ground anymore.
Yep, definitely a party and maybe dropping my ashes in the river and if that’s illegal, you can kiss my ash box. If I go before the wife and if unfortunately I haven’t gotten rid of all my crap, I expect my friends and family to help my wife. All my pew pews will be sold on Gunbroker, with the help of my FFL. The equipment and welders, machines, tools, sold off. Bikes, sold on FB. Hopefully, my wife will have someone in her bed, quite quickly. We have wills and try and update them. Major thing, don’t want to be a vegetable, laying in a bed, wife has been instructed what to do.
I always think if they keep burying body's will that take up a lot of land? That's like recycling if more people dont recycle scrap iron what will happen?
The thing i never got about it is after 10 years who shows up anymore your forgoten about by then. Ive been involed in digging the things since I could walk cant see the point. Fun story in highschool a girl didnt show up a few days she come back and said her gramma had passed so im sitting there and bud in she was such and such she says yeah how youd know that with out skipping a beat I said i dumped the dirt on her last night. The teacher was dumbfounded half the class was crying the rest half way laughing and poor me is sitting there like what did I do wrong. That was the day I learned I wasnt cut out to be a therapist!
My wife is terminally ill and we had a conversation about all of this. She has elected to go down the Voluntary Assisted Death(VAD) route and doesn't want a funeral. So I suggested a pre death get together so friends and family can say their goodbyes, have a yarn etc to a living soul instead of a corpes. That is now the plan and her ash's will be divided amongst her children. I've been a wanderer most of my life and have no particular place I want to stop at so put my ashes in a plane and tip them out, heck they might even make rain. A thing I heard years ago, home isn't where you live, it's where you want to die. Morbid topic huh.
Mom and Dad grew up only a couple blocks away from each other. Of their siblings, more than half stayed in the same area, and I grew up there too. As a consequence, most of my family funerals on both sides were handled by the same funeral home. I came to understand that any time one of us walked out of McCabe Brothers under his own power we were doing pretty good. For years I've been saying that my retirement party would be "at McCabe's funeral home, date to be announced." A couple of years ago, McCabe's went out of business. ****! Now I'm gonna have to live forever...
My neighbor owned a funeral home, and he spoke of the great parties at the "PA Undertakers Association" annual meetings. Give him the name of a town on the west side of Pa, and he could tell you the funeral home owners name, and a few details of that person. Kind of a close knit bunch I presume.....
Damn Tones, prayers for your wife, your family and for yourself. End of life is a tough thing to go through.
Thanks CM, everyone has had time to prepare for the last day which makes it a little easier unlike those who pass because of a MVA or similar.
Tones, my sister went that route and picked her day. All us siblings were involved in her care to the end. I'll lend you what strength reaches across the internet. She had a glioblastoma and it was a year almost to the day from the diagnosis, taking out a big chunk of it to buy a little time, and her last day. I'd say it was a good go. My mom, she picked her party much like the OP there. Her main request was a piano bar style party with singing, and we played Alice's Restaurant by Arlo Guthrie. I've scattered few sets of ashes from the plane over the years. My FIL, my buddy EK, Slim, Mike's dad.
I'm 66 my wife is 68 we both have wills. Neither of us want a funeral. Cremate me and dump my ashes into the river. I just lost a friend a couple weeks ago. We went to school together. He was dealing with cancer, I'm not sure what kind. He was not feeling well and went too the hospital where he died from an aneurysm. Living where I have almost all my life I keep seeing people I knew that are my age listed in obituaries in the local paper. This seemed to start happening when I got into my fifties. My dad made it to 87 he was doing all the things he liked doing until 85 when health issues came up. He did not take very good care of himself. I try to get out and go for a brisk 30 minute walk 2 or 3 times a week, I eat healthy and don't drink excessively. You never know what the lottery of life has in store for you.
For the fact I almost lost mine 5 times early on, there must be some truth in---- *
I think if it's not a big deal I will be cremated so not to take up much space. One big deal is I hope to have most of my stuff sorted out. I dont hate my Dad for leaving so much to deal with and he loved his stuff but please dont leave a mess for someone to deal with. You may love your stuff but your children may not like it and have a real job dealing with it.
Agreed. For ourselves, we are moving to that new house 112 miles away, and a lot of stuff is not going to make the trip
we just left a home of 31 years with attic, AND basement. moved into half a twin home, about 1700 sq. ft. had to make a LOT of trips to goodwill and salvation army giving stuff away. no room in new place for all the "stuff".
We did the move from Washington to Idaho in October. Basically turned the Washington house into an Idaho house with less land and a taller shop. Sold most of my big tools and kept stuff for fixing little things like lawn mowers and snow blowers. We go see the law firm next week to set up the trust for the easy estate transfer when the wife and I pass. I don’t plan on leaving the mess on my kids that happened when my dad passed without a will. Also doing all the other stuff like a living will and durable power of attorney for both the wife and myself.
Sadly death can bring out the worst in people. Especially those who feel entitled that never gave a damn when you were alive. Still remember the WKRP in Cincinnati episode where the rich old guy died and left a video. To the one brother he said, "You were always an all or nothing type of person... so since you can't have it all, you get nothing!"
Be very careful. My parents deeded their house to me & my two sisters in 1985. Dad died in 2000, Mother in 2016. Meanwhile oldest sister was killed in a traffic accident her husband fell asleep. Other sister's adult daughter took over her affairs. It took a long time, a number of surgeries, brother in law recovered from his injuries. Mother blamed him, felt it could have been prevented. I spoke with a lawyer, he confirmed that older sister's share of the house would go to her husband. It'd require a Probate process. Our niece, an expert on all things opposed a probate. My mother insisted there had to be a way to keep his hands off her home. Mother moved to assisted living, house sat vacant. I had to do the Probate. After all these years, I have bought out two thirds. It has been a real mess.
Until you have to go through some deed or will there is no way i think a person can under stand.
Slowly getting rid of anything related to my working life. All the tools, all books & manuals, all of the photo collection of vehicles, all truck badges. Don't need any of it, way less for the two in my will to get rid of. If wife goes before me I will strip the house to bare necessity. Just enough to cook with, a tv, one recliner, bed. Should take very little time to clean and ready house for sale. Less is more.