How many of you work with your Father? I do and while most of the time we get along really well, some days it seems like we speak a different language. I've been working for my Dad for going on 9 years, and I really enjoy it, but those bad days really suck. It never seems to be a quality of work thing, it's always a communication problem. It seems like everyone I talk to says they "could never work with there Dad" How do the rest of you make out? Does it seem like somedays you are the root of all of there problems? Let's here some of your "workin' with the ole' man stories"
When I started off in the buisness I did. Then i went on my own and my father helped me piece my junk box equipment back together until I had enough money to buy new stuff. Now he manages all the equipment, from service intervals to knowing where every road plate is.
From the time I was a lil kid(not too long ago) I loved going with dad, spending hours apon hours riding on the bulldozer or playing gofer. As is with most work, when I was young it was all fun and a great day to be with dad working. As I got older(teen years) I was doing more and more but somtimes his way and my way didn't jive(although more times than not, they did get to the same outcome). Him and I would have a WAR for about 5 mins and then usually cause hes the boss, I would do it his way and that was all there was too it, nothing personal just he was the boss and its his way. We have fought about everything from how to mow the yard(his yard) to how the bucket on the excavator needed to be laid down on the lowboy. When it came to moving dirt or figuring math stuff I NEVER argued with him(don't know why i did on the other stuff) as he had over 30 years in doing it and learned from his uncle who has over 50 years. There were many days that I was happy to be alone and just be able to do a project and when he showed up to check on me it was done and he was happy with it. Even working with my grandpa, whom should have retired years ago, was for the most part enjoyable. Really only in the last few years he was able to work was he more of a job to keep cleaned up after him than what the project was. Those days are past us, as after 60 years we have closed our earthmoving business, dad is the Highway Comishoner, my uncle Harvey has retired and myself I am running heavy equipment for a Concrete and gravel company. There have been man days which I loved when I was not around dad and able to do my own thing, but when problems or questions arised he was the first person I called. I don't want to sound like a sap but it has been extremly tough the past few months getting used to not working with him everyday and getting the AXX chewings or the compliments of a job well done. I suppose its just part of life and its hard to take change but I will deal with it and hold those memories in photos and in my mind(might have to write a book like KoO). Trbo
Yea I work with my dad too and we have our moments too. Usually we fight because now that I'm older I see things in different ways etc and have different ideas but he is still the boss, so he usually wins, but sometimes we go my way on things. It is definatly a eventful workplace sometimes.
Trbo, Did you have an option to take the biz over? Sounds like some of these may be typical Dad/Son problems How many guys do you have working? Do you run your own job or work with a crew? With us it's just the two of us doing 4 guys work, so sometimes thing get eventfull for us too!
I'm in the same boat. My old man is stuck in his ways and doesn't like to hear my ideas. He also won't admit when I was right ointhead I've been working for him since I was 14. Hopefully, someday, I'll be the boss.
I could have taken it over with full support from my dad if that is what I wanted to do but it would have left me by myself. We had been running for the most part a 4 man operation and my uncle and grandpa were both retiring. Looking at the cost of machine replacement, insurance(underground and health for me) and finding employees that would work for less money than elsewhere(its just hard to pay hired help and find good ones that will work for less money). In the long run I know what I am doing is the best thing for me and my soon to be wife but I still miss it. I do have the option to go back and do my own thing as everything in the biz was paid for and we still have some equpiment, and our shop etc. See what happens. Trbo
This reminds me of a friend who was telling me that him and his father argue all the time when working. I want to tell you guys the same thing that i told him , from the other side of the fence. "At least you have a father to work with." My parents were seperated when i was young and my father moved out of state. I only saw my father rarely off and on over 30yrs. He passed away this summer and i hadnt seen him for at least 15yrs . It really would have been neat having him see my business grow and helping out , as he was a great mechanic. So those of you who argue with your father think about it twice before you part ways .
some days it is good and some are bad but, our fathers will only be here for a short time we better spend all the time we can with them while they are still around. i have found that arguing with the old man just pisses us both off. and that if i say somthing softly once that he listens more than if i make a point of it. i have a brother that won't even talk to dad, lucky to see each other once a year. i work with dad every day. it kills the old man that my brother acts like that and talks about it alot, then on the other hand i get an ass chewing for beeing 10 mins late for work. i was thinking about this the other day when we were both on loaders and i am so glad i get to spend this time with him. some times you just have to listen to them cause they know more than you do weather or not you are man enough to admit it
I might work with a crew one day drive a dump truck the next or be running a machine by myself somewhere another it varies day to day usually. I work with him mainly on equipment maintance and fleet maintance in the shop. even though we argue sometimes I wouldn't change a thing, I love working with my dad, if I didn't start working with him when I was young, I wouldn't even have known him as thats where he spends 85% of his life is at work.
I never tried to make a living working with my Dad, but I worked with him on projects all throughout my life. We had our ups and downs together but he is the one that instilled my work ethic in me. I lost him only a year after starting my business, I like to think he'd be proud of what I've done. Make the most of your time with your Dads, I'd do just about anything to have more time with mine.
I agree 100% Steve. My dad was an engineer for GE so he retired at 55, he is now 75. Never worked with him and moved to another town after school. I started my excavation thing at a ripe age of 39 after owning a completely different company. I think he is proud of what I have done, no, I know he is, but we can't talk shop because he has no idea what I am talking about. I have a 16 year old son that has great grades (I don't think he got the smarts from me, could be from my dad) and wants to be a doctor; I think he can do it. He has no interest in moving dirt. I just don’t spend enough time, like most, with my father, wish I could spend more. Working with your dad daily, even if you disagree would be ok with me, and should be ok with you guys. I think most of you guys that work with your father, remember this, when he instructs you on how to do this or that , rite or wrong, I think most of the time he trying to help you.
Great replys guys, yesterday was "one of those days" but today was fine, just like nothing ever happened. The best thing is that we never hold a grudge against each other, it seems like when I get pissed off he can't help but laugh at me, or vice versa. I am glad to see that I am not alone.
My Father and i worked to gather for 10 years and then he had a stroke when we worked together it was tough sometimes but looking back i learned more from him on those tough days than any school can teach you so enjoy the good days and bad days while you can still work side by side with him and learn from him ,because the time may come when when you have to act more like the parent that the child .
I got my dad into landscaping, more or less. When I was 17, a handful of my buddies and myself used to do a lot of downhill mountain bike racing. I was at one of the last races of the year, took a good spill after I overshot a landing, and broke my arm in 2 places. My dad, who was currently unemployed after spending 25 years in a fairly well paying sales job, figured he'd handle my 20 lawns for me. One of my customers had a house on the lake but lived in Seattle. He was a home builder and was building a spec house about 1/4 mile from my parent's house as a chance to make some coin in another market. Dad said "Guess I can handle this job" and wham, we were born. Since then, we jumped into excavation last year and did well, but dad decided he couldn't handle that business without me (still in college 160 miles away). So he sold the larger equipment and still does landscaping/hardscaping. He could have easily retired at 48 when he was laid off his sales job, but he's 55 now and the choice was clear. There were days where I wanted to do things my way and he'd do them the other. The funny thing is, I know more of what I'm talking about when it comes to this kind of work. I don't think my dad ran our 312 more than about 15 hours in the 300 hours that we had it, but I loved it when he'd try and tell me how to do something. I'd always remind him of this when he'd come out to a site and see what was going on, I was more or less running the show, but he'd come out and take a look at what was going on and have no clue as to what I was talking about, get in his truck, and take off.
My dad owns a residential construction outfit and also farmed when I was preteen. I work for him until I turned 18 except if there wasn't much inside work in the winter. I would get another job since it got dark so early and so I wasn't out in the cold. We never had disagreements he knew his stuff, but I did have a few better ideas through the years. He was always more then willing to give them a try if they sounded good, but if not that was the end of it. It was always the kind of unspoken plan for me to take over for him. At 16 I decided he put way to much effort running his biz, and I didn't want all of that pressure. So that was it he never said anything about my decision, but I know he was disappointed in some way that I didn't take over.
my son is soon to be 28, been with me since he was 14 summer months, full time since he got his degree in const. management. we have our "moments"....but he's been nothing short of a Godsend to me. there is nobody his age within a 200 mile radius with the job knowledge or the respect he's earned from competitors, engineers, architects, and owners of projects....i learned long ago, sometimes you just gotta pick your battles.
Thanks for the reply day, It's good to hear from someone on "the other end of the spectrum"
Let's add a little twist too things.How many of you have daughters,or wifes(other them working in office or bookkeeping) who helps you? By the way i didn't have a son ,just daughter.Great kid ,but not into dirtwork. Does relation and helpers count? Had a nephew that i helped get started in construction,who by the way his dad (my brother got me started). My nephew is now up too forman where he works,so must have gotten him started off on the right foot some?Plus his dad did a great job.Used me for an example !!!!!!!!! Enjoy your family all you can your health, and them, is what really counts as far as i'm concerened.:usa
I started working with my Dad when I was big enough to reach the pedals and strong enough to pull the levers on an old Lorain shovel. From my early teens through high school I worked with him whenever I could. When I graduated from high school in 1977 I went to work with the family excavating business full time. When my dad was diagnosed with cancer he began signing over his share of the business to me. When he died in 1990 I could no longer stand to work with the rest of the family. When they refused to buy me out of my share I left and moved on - now I'm involved in the logging and sawmill industry. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of him. We fought like cats and dogs but at the end of the day the job was done right and was something we were proud of. You guys still working with your dads should do your best to work things out every day. Do the job - do it right - and be proud of what you do. My 2 cents Thanks
This thread braings tears to my eyes. I miss my dad. Never worked with him just played, hunted, fished, and hobbies. I would do anything to have him back but we know that is not possable. Same goes for my Step Dad. I learned so much from them both and non of it had to do with playing in the dirt. I wish I could disagree with eather of them now because that would mean they were still alive. When you look back and they are not here anymore every day spent with them is special good or bad. Dwan
Welcome to HEF ReedTal! :drinkup
Here I am thinking I am the only one that has stupid little arguments with my dad. I am only 18 so iv only been working with my dad in the summer and when I had free time. My dream is to work with dad and hopefully take over someday and expand a little, but there have been some times when I thought man I don’t want to work with him and put up with all the little disagreements all the time. But like others said the next day it will be like nothing ever happened and we would go smooth. I know there’s is a great deal of knowledge to learn from his experiences.
I have worked for my dad for the last 9 goin on 10 years...At points we could have started a tv show like American Chopper but call it American Trailer instead. haha...but the last few years things have seemed to get better...feels like he listens to me more if i have ideas about something and a little more receptive than in the past...it will always be hard but thats the way it is...tough to mix family and business...
I love my dad , but living next door can real be a challenge . He is 83 going on 84 love him to death but my probblem is now that no matter what you are doing when he calls or stops by and wants you to do something . I his way of thinking YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO DROP WHAT EVER YOU ARE DOING RIGHT THERE AND THEN AND GO DO WHAT HE NEEDS DONE And if he calls and you do not show up in less than 5 mins he will call again Thanks Goodness for caller ID .TO me living next door that is all that I can handle working with him ____ No way there would be a killing ointhead either he killling me or me killing him we are way too much alike . But my grand pa Loved working with him he was so laid back really miss him . always wanted my dad to be like POP was but dad is not ,he is like his mom was a control freak . Guess in general we are all inabout the same boat some days love them to death, some days you try to stay away from them .
This whole subject is kinda close to me right now.honestly! My Dad has been "on the edge " health wise, for a couple months, and just had a stroke within the last week, so........ I believe you'll not remember the hardship', but you will the time's things did go right. Don't let it come to it being "Too late" to let you're father know how you feel about what he's done for you. It's tough enough even when you do get enough time to let them know how you feel, don't let it pass without letting them know!! FWIW, I find it hard to believe any father would ever try and be an ******* when it came to advice given for his son.
I have worked with my Father most of my life. It started out as just "helpin' the old man" when I was younger then progressed to working with his business although his business was never really my thing. (He was a product rep for truck accessories.) Later in life Dad became my "advisor" for lack of a better term in my construction business. We butted heads all the time but it always seemed to work out in one way or another. I lost Dad on April 18, 2006 and things have changed very much in my world but to this day I still get a good laugh at the "discussions" I know Dad and I would be having about work if he was still here. :deadhorse
When I was a kid I would often go to work w/ my dad in the woods. He worked for several logging outfits over the years skidding logs & building logging roads. His last several yrs in the woods he built forest service roads w/ dozers-D8 or D9. Though I never worked in the woods he bought an old JD450 track hoe & we made an agreement that I would find work for it & me, I would repair & maintain it. We split the gross income. I was 17. He & my grandfather had taught us to run farm tractors on the ranch ever since we could walk. They taught my 3 older brothers & I what dirt was & how to move it. Of the 4 of us boys I'm the only one that got enough dirt under my fingernails & on the back of my neck to want to push it around for a living. Dad & I didn't always get along the best. Even though we didn't work together in the daytime he still taught me more tricks of the trade in the evenings & you better believe I asked him for advice often. Dad & I went seperate ways for a few years-I left dirt work for carpentry for a few yrs. He sold JD & bought a Bobcat. I finally returned to the work I love the most & bought a used JCB rubber tired hoe. Guess what-Dad & I finally worked together on several small jobs. It was about that time that I realized what I had missed by not working w/ dad the years before. I have 5 kids, 4 boys, 1 girl. My oldest boy is the only one that now works w/ me full time. We formed a small corporation but it's just the 2 of us most of the time. With the help of my wife I've been able to see the mistakes I (& my dad) have made in the past & have worked hard to balance being a dad, boss & friend to my kids. It seems that the most important thing is not how much money you make, who's way is best or who gets the last word. It's enjoying your work & the time you can spend w/ YOUR son(s). My dad recently had a couple of strokes. It's hard for him to even remember many of the experiences we had working together. Probably most of you guys are dads as well-some will be one day. Teaching your kids the trade is only half the battle-learning how to work together is where the blessings come. There isn't a day that my son & I don't enjoy working together.
Welcome to HEF ernie! :drinkup
This is a neat topic guys. Like alot of you, I spent alot of my weekends and evenings out on jobs with dad and then when I got out of high school went to work with him. For the last 8+ years, its been the 2 of us and a fleet of equipment. Not all days are sunshine and roses and we do have our spats, but at the end of the day we both have too much love and respect for each other to hang onto anything. One thing I will say to sons and dads both is to not let things get to you. If dad and I would have taken personally everything rotten that we've said to each other over the years, we'd have driven each other nuts along time ago. My mom always said that I could say things to my dad that no else could and visa versa. At the end of the day, he's still my dad, boss, but most impotantly, best friend and teacher. Take care, Scott
working with the old man Well guys TWO cents from an ole man. The ole man is not always correct, but as I tell my son and crew " I have alot of experience in my 60 years and I learn things everyday, so if you dont aggree with what I say, lets discuss it briefly and decide what to do" After a few of these dicussions, they realized it was better to let me tell them what to do. The problem with my son is that he cant control his anger and cant talk a solution though, he had rather storm off mad. Sons out there-talk to the ole man, most of them will be glad to talk, and get the issue taken care of before it causes problem as a family. Its real hard for family to work together, i really enjoy working with my son until he starts that superior atitude and doesnt want to listen to anyone. at that time he usually messes something up and has to come to me and ask how to correct the problem. He is no dummy and can do most things as good or better than I can, but when it comes to the specialized jobs (setting grade, digging around utilities, listening to and following through with customers directions) its where he has problems. OK last word, again its hard to work with family, but its enjoyable also, Talk to the ole man and listen, you might learn something.
That fits with my favorite defintion of the "generation gap": "How you explain to a son that someday he'll be just as stupid as his old man."